I don't want to unpack, nor settle into this or any place - unless it's finally on our own plot of land.
I've mentioned in a previous blog some of the things I/my family have experienced over the past three years. I've just realized the permanence of my previous statement that walking through those years have resulted in bringing me to a place of detachment. After having downsized to enable life in one room, to go back to a larger space felt initially expansive but soon after feels like too much space. Of course it is nice to have really empty (thus spacious) rooms. Still, I just can't bring myself to feel energized about unpacking the few boxes we own/pulled out of storage. Those I've opened, I find myself combing through for disposing and only placing a minimal set of items in the kitchen and elsewhere. I know this is just yet another 'stop' en route to our rural dream. In other words, what if there will be many more potty breaks on this long road trip? I don't want to get too comfortable.
Perhaps what's really weird is not being able to feel as engaged in the moving in process, not wanting to arrange (thankfully my husband is clearly into it), not even wanting to decorate with a few beloved trinkets. Thankfully the walls are nicely painted. One of the living room walls is some sort of dusky green but not really green (that goes well with our rug that we'd actually wanted to get rid of), a wall in one of the bedrooms is a beautiful dark reddish - terracota color; which of course resonates with my Scorpion self! There's a beautiful yard with gorgeous succulent plants. It's nice, it really is, plus I am grateful for a roof as that is also no longer a given for so many of us these days. So I'm thankful but perhaps not used to this depth of detachment.
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